john mulaney college quotes
“Just because you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting.” – John Mulaney, 28. “Do you want a salad or fries?
Nor would a sketch be as fun if it were me standing there saying it.” – John Mulaney, 25. 34.
As an Irish Catholic, I … John Edmund Mulaney.
“I’ll keep all my emotions right here. I’ve always enjoyed it. “My vibe is like, hey you could probably pour soup in my lap and I’ll apologize to you.” – John Mulaney. It’s like a turtleneck made out of Brillo pads.” – John Mulaney, 26. So I’m not living minute to minute.” – John Mulaney. Interviews and Podcasts on Everyday Power, 10 Communication Skills You Need for Life and Work, 5 Things To Avoid If You Want To Get Ahead. I have American money.
Share with them these quotes or find another way to get them laughing. So, whether you need a little encouragement or just want to forget the problems of the day and have a little laugh, these John Mulaney quotes are for you.
“Here’s how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the ’30s — as long as you weren’t still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.” – John Mulaney, 39. Don’t forget to also check these Rodney Dangerfield quotes and famous one-liners. And then one day I'll die. " “I don’t make plans anymore. There’s just something really, really funny about someone tearing into me.” – John Mulaney, 24.
And while his comedy is hilarious, he also has some quotes that you can use as motivation in your own life. They come in Thin Mint and Samoa and also other flavors. “You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.” – John Mulaney, 32. And then one day I’ll die.” – John Mulaney, 6. I was like 12 years old and my dad walked up to me and he said, “Hello. And the next time you see someone else that looks stressed out and looks like they could use a laugh, make sure you help them out. If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them, that’s the worse word.” – John Mulaney.
You might also like these hilarious Richard Pryor quotes highlighting some of his funniest and most controversial moments. That’s like asking, ‘Do you want to go for a jog or freebase cocaine?
It’s kind of flattering in its own way, but at the same time, it’s weird because, like, I’m still afraid of being kidnapped.” – John Mulaney, 20.
You watch cartoons and quicksand is like the third biggest thing you have to worry about, behind the actual sticks of dynamite and giant anvils falling on you from the sky.” – John Mulaney, 38. I look like I was just sitting in a room with a chair eating saltines for 28 years and then walked right out here.” – John Mulaney. “You can do good work simply staying up all night and eating nothing but junk food, but probably not in the long term.” – John Mulaney, 3. But taking time to laugh and have fun is important for our mental health and physical health. Just put them in a store and I’ll buy them.” – John Mulaney, 29. John … “You should be able to say I don’t know. Everything.” – John Mulaney, 30.
BuzzFeed … “I’m a very lucky person. “And then he ordered one black coffee for himself and kept driving.” – John Mulaney, 14. 22. If you were never a benchwarmer, I cannot express to you the humiliation of every Saturday morning, putting on a pair of breakaway pants and never having a reason to break them away — then they’re just pants.” – John Mulaney, 16. He tends to be best known as being a writer for Saturday Night Live. “Stand-up for me is just my opinions on things, so it wouldn’t be as fun translated into a sketch. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. “13-year-olds are the meanest people in the world. “I don’t look like someone who used to do anything.
So, next time you feel overwhelmed by your day and the things on your to-do list, take some time to read through these John Mulaney quotes or watch a video of one of his bits. “Going on the road for long stretches can seem daunting, and I certainly miss being home sometimes, but the chance to see so many different cities, let alone perform in them, is something I am really grateful for.” – John Mulaney, 23. “According to the Girl Scouts website you cannot buy Girl Scout cookies online. Share with your friends. They don’t even have to look at you long.” – John Mulaney, 7. He has the type of sarcastic, self-deprecating humor that resonates well with audiences, especially college students. “I always thought that quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be. Your email address will not be published. I don’t wanna name an actual airline so let’s make one up, let’s just call it like Delta Airlines.” – John Mulaney, 12. “You can’t always see both sides of the story. Dad’s Sex Talk. “The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.” – John Mulaney, 10.
11. Do you know what you can buy online? “I am very small and I have no money. “‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’’ You’re not allowed to milk a cow that you don’t own. Let us know in the comment section below. I was always the squarest person in the cool room, and alternatively, sometimes the weirder person at the mainstream table. “College was like a four-year game show called “Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need To Go To Sleep?” – John Mulaney, 18. The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time. Look at a sweater made in Ireland. Just sell me the cookies. So you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under.” – John Mulaney, 5. Was that a problem at one point?” – John Mulaney, 31. Have you seen these hilarious Will Ferrell quotes? “I like making fun of myself a lot. "I'll keep all my emotions right here. “Email viruses bring people together in amazing ways.” – John Mulaney, 33. No more equivocating. “Girl Scout cookies are delicious! “I look back on being 17 and think, “Oh my God, how did I not die?” – John Mulaney, 21. I’m an idiot, and I’ve shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so I don’t feel like I deserve good treatment.” – John Mulaney, 2.
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